As children get older, they become more independent. They are more influenced by new people and ideas in their school and in the world. Letting go will be easier for you and your child if you can talk freely about the changes your child is going through. You can’t keep your child under your wing forever. But you can keep the lines of communication open.
Teenagers: 13 to 19 years
Teens are trying to figure out who they are. And they may try on a few different identities while doing so. This can mean changing their appearance. You may find some of these new looks a little odd. But these new looks are often short-term and quite harmless. Giving teens control of their own appearance and freedom to experiment with their looks can be very empowering.
However, it might be prudent if you set certain limits about what you believe is going overboard or unacceptable. Your best bet is to sit back and remember how it was when you were a teen. It can also help to talk with other parents of teens.
If you’re having trouble talking
Parents worry about their teens experimenting with drinking, driving, smoking, sex, drugs, and staying out late. But many parents have trouble talking to their kids about these things. Some parents stay away from these topics. As a result, they don’t really know what their kids are doing.
Having open and frank communication is a way to show your love and respect for your growing child. Be available when your teen wants to talk, no matter how tired or busy you are. They may not feel like talking later.
Let teens know where you stand by setting limits and sticking to them. Be clear about things like what time they must be home, screen time on electronic devices, extracurricular activities, school grade expectations, parties, and conduct at home. Set clear rules for when your teen is home alone. It is important to be clear about these boundaries to prevent any misunderstanding. Make sure your teen knows which issues are nonnegotiable and which can be negotiated. And be sure teens know what the consequences will be if they test those limits or break the rules.
Beyond child care
When your child is a teen, you don’t worry about another person providing care. Your concern now is whether your teen is taking good care of themselves and making good choices. Encourage your teen to share their feelings. If you think that the time is right, then discuss the consequences of peer pressure and risky behavior, such as bullying, anorexia, self-harm, smoking, drunk driving, drugs, or teen pregnancy. Be honest and direct with your teen when talking about these sensitive subjects.
It’s often helpful for young people in this age group to have organized, supervised activities they can enjoy with their friends. Also, this is a good opportunity for you to get to meet and know your teen’s friends.
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Online Medical Reviewer: Amy Finke RN BSN
Online Medical Reviewer: L Renee Watson MSN RN
Online Medical Reviewer: Vinita Wadhawan Researcher
Date Last Reviewed: 04/01/2025
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